A colleague asks whether you can “have a quick look.” You agree. Later, the quick look turns into rewriting a document, and the evening you had planned for something else disappears.
The difficulty began before the work: neither of you had a clear picture of the commitment. A few questions can prevent that misunderstanding.
Clarify the request
What exactly needs doing? How much material is involved? When is it needed? Are you giving comments, checking figures or taking responsibility for finishing it?
These questions also help the person asking. They may need a specific form of help that is different from what you first assumed.
Look at the cost to your week
Check your current commitments, including rest and personal plans. An empty square in a calendar does not prove you have the energy for another task after a demanding day.
You may still choose to help. Decide what you will move, reduce or give up so that the choice is visible to you. Helping someone can be important without being effortless.
Give a return time if you need one
“Let me check my schedule and answer by noon tomorrow” is a useful response when you cannot decide immediately. Put the reply on your own list and return when promised.
Avoid an indefinite “I'll think about it” if the other person needs to make plans. A delayed answer should be a genuine step towards a decision.
State the scope when you agree
“I can check the totals tomorrow morning; I cannot rewrite the report” gives the help a boundary. Ask whether that is useful. The person may need more than you can offer and choose another option.
Before your next yes
- What is the actual task?
- When is it needed?
- What would it replace in my week?
- What exactly can I promise?
- If I need time to decide, when will I reply?
Use the pause to make a commitment you understand and can honour.
